Michelle Vagina tattoo

Revelations of Jesse James’ infidelity in his marriage to congenial Oscar-winner Sandra Bullock have rocked the Hollywood establishment this week. Tabloids have been extremely quick to dispense as much information about James’ alleged Mistress, tattoo-model Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, to an eager public in addition to multiple takes on Bullock being “blindsided” in their headlines.

If you’ve seen photos of James’ ex-wife, heavily-inked porn star Janine Lindemulder, you’d no doubt understand James’ attraction to the young lady whose tats are for more striking than her ta-tas. After all, Sandra Bullock may be attractive, but does she have a tattoo that says, “Pray for us sinners” on her face? Michelle Bombshell McGee 1, Sandra Bullock 0.

Unfortunately, Bombshell loses a few points for her Nazi-themed photo shoot and her White Power leg tats. Michelle Bombshell McGee -1, Sandra Bullock 1 (that’s for the Oscar).

Though we’re sure you’re more than awash in all of the details you can handle, here are a few more important “facts” about Michelle “Bombshell” McGee that all of those other publications seem to have left out:

1. Has a tattoo of her vagina a few inches above her vagina, so in all likelihood there was never any actual penetration between her and Jesse James.

2. Never misses an opportunity to read Oprah Book Club recommendations.

3. Secretly trying to negotiate a deal with the Aaron Spelling’s estate to do a remake of the 1994-95 TV Series “Models Inc” as “Models Ink.” The show will be a drama about the goings on at a racist tattoo model agency.

4. Favorite movie is Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous.

5. Has sext messages from Tiger Woods.

6. Has plans for her next tattoo to be of Tattoo from Fantasy Island. It would look pretty sweet on her cheek, below the stars around her right eye on a perfectly dominant patch of pale white skin. She’ll also leave plenty of room for “da plane!”